Energy is motion. Decrease the amount of motion down to low enough levels and you virtually suspend reality. Thus time, at these low temperatures, begins to lose its meaning. We all perceive ourselves as composite selves projected along a future moving axis of time. Couldn't we all do with jumping a few steps forward? The cryonics movement thinks so:

1. Take your still quivering human corpse (recently pronounced legally deceased)
2. Cut off the head
3. Drain all fluids and replace them with your favourite brand of Cryoprotectant
4. Using liquid nitrogen quickly freeze the soggy remains to the lowest temperature possible
5. Stick in cold storage (no pun intended) and hide somewhere safe from economic collapse, earthquakes, typhoons, tsunamis, floods, riots, theft, violence, religious fundamentalism, biological contaminations, asteroid impacts and black holes
6. Hope that civilisation and/or the company assuming responsibility for your remains survives long enough for scientists to figure out how to turn an anti-freeze sodden, ice-crystal damaged lump of inert, organic matter back into 'you'
7. Have a new body grown from your genetic material
8. Plop the old brain in the new body, tying up any loose ends nice and neatly
9. Go shopping (you're clothes are 1000+ years out of date)

But don't just take my simple instructions as a matter of fact. There are a whole host of legally bound cryogenics organisations who can't wait to have your entire life savings signed over to them just before they chop off your head. The world is full of such kindness.

"Believing cryonics could reanimate somebody who has been frozen is like believing you can turn hamburger back into a cow." - Dr. Arthur Rowe, Cryobiologist

So here is the first Mu Haiku mission of 2006 (if you choose to accept it):

A Cryogenically-Frozen Tank Full of Mu?

Is it possible to extend your consciousness forever? Would you want to? What are the chances of civilisation staying stable long enough for cryonics to be a viable alternative to just rotting like everyone else? And most importantly, what would Jesus think about it?

Here's the message I'll be leaving future Transhuman generations to laugh at in recently thawed-out retrospection:

If life is a dream,
the soul a mere illusion:
Refridgerate me.

What the Mu do you think? And remember - it'll be the very richest and most craziest amongst us waiting for you when you wake up:

'No one knows just what future technology may bring, or what form a new existence could take. Mr. Laughlin confronted that issue in a meeting last August with his lawyers while drafting a trust. Mr. Laughlin opted against allowing a mere biological clone to get his money. He insisted whoever gets the funds should have "my memories." - link'

Mu to that!

Categories: Science, Weird, Humour, Sci-Fi, Singularity, Future, Human, Consciousness, Religion, Life, Death, Time, Fun, Society, Technology, Transhuman, Nonsense, Meme, Mu

Labels: Mu Haiku