Excruciatingly Large Things

Daniel Rourke's new website is:

MachineMachine.net


Plethora of Religion

→ by Danieru
UPDATE: Ha, ha. Maybe you think I get up to a bit of religious and political tom-foolery here at The Huge Entity? Maybe you'd have my opinionated rantings judged by the Ginger Father Himself (check the story below)?

But I believe there is no need for punchlines when religion and Western politics collide. God may smite me down with the nearest lightning bolt to hand (maybe he could borrow one off his old mate Thor?) but a long as sites like The Swift Report are posting, us jokers will keep laughing:
"Following the lead of France and the Netherlands, American voters are widely expected to reject the US Constitution when they go to the polls later this summer. While the Constitution was once held in great acclaim by voters, its popularity has slid in recent years as it has lost market share to more muscular governing documents, including the Ten Commandments and the Patriot Act....

Constitution vs. Commandments
Observers predict that the Constitution's toughest competition is likely to come at the hands of the increasingly popular Ten Commandments, a list of religious and moral imperatives against murder, theft and house coveting written by Moses upon two tablets of stone. Unlike the Constitution which is lengthy, abstract and cluttered with amendments, the Ten Commandments are easy to follow and glamorous enough to have been the subject of a 1956 Hollywood feature film starring Charlton Heston as Moses..."
Check the full parody article here, and for more political and religious related humour The Swift Report doth deliver...

----------------Previous Post----------------

With all this talk of Intelligent Design I could hardly not share with you the plethora of religion related goodies circling the internet now could I?

News has spread the internet this week about the Nun crucified at a Romanian exorcism. Her apparent possession by an evil force was enough to provoke Father Daniel (no relation) of the convent to tie her to a crucifix in a cold room for 3 days without food or water:

'"God has performed a miracle for her, finally Irina is delivered from evil," AFP quoted the priest as saying.

I don't understand why journalists are making such a fuss about this. Exorcism is a common practice in the heart of the Romanian Orthodox church and my methods are not at all unknown to other priests," Father Daniel added.'
Is Hell real? This website seems to think so, and the Finish miners who dug deep enough into the Earth to hear 'the screams of millions of humans!' are pretty sure Hell exists too:

"As a communist I don't believe in heaven or the Bible but as a scientist I now believe in hell," said Dr. Azzacove. "Needless to say we were shocked to make such a discovery. But we know what we saw and we know what we heard. And we are absolutely convinced that we drilled through the gates of hell!"
You can hear the recording Dr. Azzacove made here (it just sounds like a bad day in a shopping mall to me).

. Keep believing people...

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Blogger Chandira said...

I believe kindness should be the only way to drive out the demons. But then, there are demons of stupidity, who deserve a little less.

June 23, 2005 9:22 PM    

Anonymous Michael said...

"Is Hell real? This website seems to think so, and the Finish miners who dug deep enough into the Earth to hear 'the screams of millions of humans!' are pretty sure Hell exists too:"

This story was debunked quite a while ago. See http://www.snopes.com/religion/wellhell.htm for more info.

June 23, 2005 10:08 PM    

Blogger Danieru said...

thanks for the link... adds to the joy of the story methinks

June 24, 2005 6:34 AM    


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