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A Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe

→ by Danieru
Found this via BoingBoing and was touched by it's sheer beauty... A letter written to the Kansas School Board in response to their decision to teach Intelligent Design to its pupils:

"I am writing you with much concern after I read of your hearing to decide whether the alternative theory of Intelligent Design to be taught along with the theory of Evolution. I think we can all agree that it is important for students to hear multiple viewpoints so they can choose for themselves the theory that makes the most sense to them. I am concerned, however, that students will only hear one theory of Intelligent Design..

Let us remember that there are multiple theories of Intelligent Design. I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was He who created all that we see and all that we feel. We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him.

It is for this reason that I’m writing you today, to formally request that this alternative theory be taught in your schools, along with the other two theories. In fact, I will go so far as to say, if you do not agree to do this, we will be forced to proceed with legal action. I’m sure you see where we are coming from. If the Intelligent Design theory is not based on faith, but instead another scientific theory, as is claimed, then you must also allow our theory to be taught, as it is also based on science, not on faith.

Some find that hard to believe, so it may be helpful to tell you a little more about our beliefs. We have evidence that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. None of us, of course, were around to see it, but we have written accounts of it. We have several lengthy volumes explaining all details of His power. Also, you may be surprised to hear that there are over 10 million of us, and growing. We tend to be very secretive, as many people claim our beliefs are not substantiated by observable evidence. What these people don’t understand is that He built the world to make us think the earth is older than it really is. For example, a scientist may perform a carbon-dating process on an artifact. He finds that approximately 75% of the Carbon-14 has decayed by electron emission to Nitrogen-14, and infers that this artifact is approximately 10,000 years old, as the half-life of Carbon-14 appears to be 5,730 years. But what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage. We have numerous texts that describe in detail how this can be possible and the reasons why He does this. He is of course invisible and can pass through normal matter with ease.

I’m sure you now realize how important it is that your students are taught this alternate theory. It is absolutely imperative that they realize that observable evidence is at the discretion of a Flying Spaghetti Monster. Furthermore, it is disrespectful to teach our beliefs without wearing His chosen outfit, which of course is full pirate regalia. I cannot stress the importance of this, and unfortunately cannot describe in detail why this must be done as I fear this letter is already becoming to long. The concise explanation is that He becomes angry if we don’t....

P.S. I have included an artistic drawing of Him creating a mountain, trees, and a midget. Remember, we are all His creatures."
Pure Genius. Check out the full letter here.

If you are interested in the theories surrounding Intelligent Design or those 'other ideas', there is no better guide than The Panda's Thumb where its "patrons gather to discuss evolutionary theory, critique the claims of the antievolution movement, defend the integrity of both science and science education, and share good conversation."

Me? I'm still laughing about that letter... Spaghetti Monster knows why...

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm amused by the subject matter and enjoyed the piece, however when using a reduxio ad absurdum argument to make a point your supposed to END in absurdity, not beign with absurdity. Equating belief in a Flying Spaghetti Monster with belief in a Divine Creator and then running with the thought is a big mistake because you havent first established that the two are related.

When you start with an assumed absurdity, your reduced to making an ad hominum abusive argument (your wrong because your ugly) rather than an ad hominum argumen (your wrong because your a hypocrite).

Why not instead start with an established absurdity like autonomous spontaneous generation (i.e. if i leave meat out in the sun it will eventually evolve into fly eggs, maggots and then eventually flies)?

The point of teaching creationism in the classroom today is not to teach students that they should place their faith in a divine creator, rather it is to underscore that the theory of evolution is still just that, a theory.

Blindly placing ones faith in an unreporducable theory is folly, just as blindly placing ones faith in a creator is folly - the most scientific approach to both angles is to to review the evidences for both, or even all three of the positions (evolution, creationism, flying spaghetti monsters) and then comming to a conclusion, NOT teaching creationism in public schools is not scientific in that it assumes all other possabilities from the table without ever considering their merrits.

Best Regards,

Annonymous Coward

June 22, 2005 7:08 PM    

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry for the bad grammar btw.. :)

June 22, 2005 7:09 PM    

Blogger Danieru said...

sadly, i left my elemantary logic hat waaaay back in university, so absurdinate the generation of autonomous spaghetti monsters i will not...

what i liked most about this letter was its general clarity and sheer beauty in application. i really hope that some secretary in Kansas had to summarise it for their boss, or some board meeting had to be based around its contents. if the only way this letter was to be rebuked was to find within it the logical contradictions, then surely it suceeded in waking up a few minds to the issues it tackles.

anyway, good stuff all round. as i say in the post check out the panda's thumb website for a much more scientific debunking of intelligent design theories...

June 22, 2005 11:26 PM    

Anonymous Tim said...

I think the beauty of this prose is best understood with a lengthy meditation on the following phrase...

"Furthermore, it is disrespectful to teach our beliefs without wearing His chosen outfit, which of course is full pirate regalia."

Haven't laughed so much at work in some time!

x

June 23, 2005 4:19 PM    

Anonymous tim said...

...and in response to the original comment (please forgive that i have also forgotten all my floral philosophical language!)- don't think this was an attempt at reducto ad absurdum, more a substitution the object in question with the same arguments applied to it. the equality between the objects was (to my mind)demonstrated in that these arguments are no less valid in either case (being equally based on slippery arguments a la anything we can know is thus because god/spaghetti monster wants it so).

this isn't a knock-down argument for only teaching evolution- we should remain somewhat sceptical and consider alternatives- but nicely frames the fact that once you abandon scientific method in science education, you can construct all sorts of logically consistent but ludicrous stories. i'd support an inclusion of something to the effect of "non-scientific communities have other ideas about how the world was created" in science textbooks, as scientific indoctrination is fundamentally as bad as any other kind but surely to teach an unscientifically supported religious belief as science is grossly inappropriate. or bad science if you will... (innocent or guilty? innocent or guilty? :P )

by the way dan- lovin the site! keep up the good work...

tim xX

June 23, 2005 6:24 PM    

Blogger Danieru said...

For me it also gives an insight into what makes a religion in the first place. if enough people started believing in the spaghetti monster, would that make it a respectable beief system?

i was reminded of the national census in the UK a few years ago (year 2000 maybe) where enough people put 'Jedi' as their religion on the forms to have it recognised as an official minority religion in the UK. not long after, my Mum recieved a 'personal details update' form from my brother's school and couldn't help herself but put Jedi on that form too. I long to know whether it was ever actually entered into the school database

June 24, 2005 1:42 AM    

Anonymous Anonymous said...

For your viewing pleasure!

http://jesusjustforyou.blogspot.com/

July 31, 2006 1:41 AM    


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