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Sunday, March 06, 2005 → by DanieruOnce upon a time there was a country called Korea whose schizophrenic personality decided it would be better if the its two halves became individuals, each bound to the trials and tribulations that being
two distinct personalities brings. And so it was that The 'Totalitarian Nasty North Korea' closed itself off from the 'Capitalist Lovely South Korea' never to exchange loving glances again. Nasty North Korea began making big bombs and banning freedom and Lovely South Korea embraced Western markets and invented 'Asian TV Drama'. 
The two halves of Korea had many differences, but they also had a lot of shared history, thinking back to the time they call 'World War II' when the historically Nasty Japanese had used them as a spring board into an attempt at the domination of Asia. It is said that the Nice and Nasty Koreans still hold grudges after all these years, especially for what the Naughty Japanese did to Korean Women in World War II, using them as 'Comfort Women' for Japanese troops. But with historical mistakes long flowing under the bridge of time, how do these modern countries cope with their old grievances?
Nasty North Korea built 'a nuclear arsenal', keeping an arrogant stance against the Japanese and showing the rest of the world that they really (seem to) have the upper hand these days, but the South Koreans had no such weapons! No arrogant leader! How were they, in the nicest possible way, to break through 50 years of hidden angst against their neighbours and make a name for themselves? TV DRAMA!!! Of course....
And there is only one name in TV Drama today who can cross all social boundaries, all deeply felt greivance, all historical barriers. There is only one man for whom no amount of admiration is enough. One man whose very presence can melt the hearts of an entire bus load of Japanese grannies. One man who is more Japanese than the Japanese themselves. Of course those of you in the know will at present be screaming 'Yon Sama, Yon Sama!' and probably wrestling an old lady to the ground as you do so. But for those of you out there who know not of Yon Sama let me update you... YON SAMA!!!!
...is quite simply THE Man, the greatest aspects of masculinity and kindness all thrown together in one neatly arranged TV Drama package. And now every old woman in Japan is in love with Yon Sama. Travel agents offer 'Korean Romance' holidays to the sights of his most famous movie 'Winter Sonata'. Every endorse-able product (which hasn't been stolen by the Beckhams) is emblazoned with Yon Sama's gleaming teeth. Teeth in fact which can blind a Granny at a thousand paces and knock the lime scale off a traditional Japanese toilet (with added lemon zest TM).Yon Sama symbolises everything that is good about Korea, whilst also symbolising every disappointment that Japanese women feel for their husbands. Cries usher forth from Japanese women throughout the land:
"He's such a nice boy!" - "He's so kind and yet so strong." - "Yon Sama cares for his woman as if she really existed!" - "Yon Sama is the most handsome darn Korean bloke ever to walk this Earth!" - "Yon Sama would never stay at the snack bar until the wee hours pinching young waitresses bottoms and crawling home drunk on Shochú..." - "I'd love to ride his glistening rocket ship to the stars!" and so on........Is Yon Sama the perfect man? "Yon Sama" actually translates into Japanese as "Yon the Great". With a nickname like that, and an endorsement on every Japanese home grown product from Camcorders to washing up liquid who needs Japanese men! Who needs other men at all!!!! You decide my friends....
And what do the young generation of Japan feel about their Grandmas' idol? Check out my March Photo Gallery for a quick glimpse into the minds of second year students on the subject of Yon Sama. Enjoy...
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