One

Welcome to my school dinners page, an endlessly updated page outlining the love I have for my school lunch. I am now a rice addict. I mean no joke by that, I crave rice with a sweat in my palms and a churning in my stomach. Japanese, sticky, chopstick-friendly rice is the way it should be

Two

If the British education system brought these babies in they would inject the future-building little tykes of our fair land with a health giving zest quite impossibly gained from the sloppy crap they receive at present. TOP LEFT: Vacuum packed fish! Two smoked, juicy lovelies swimming in their own juices. Tastes best with rice

Three

Cheese bread and potato salady stuff with rooty stuff. All crunchy and fresh as yer like 'em. BUT NO RICE! What a mistake...

Four

My least favourite meal and sadly one of the most frequent. Roots, potato and other stuff made to taste a bit like earth worms. More great fish on the rice though

Five

The soup on the right is quite delicious and healthy even though it looks like bits of twig in brine. Once again juicy, smoked and soaked fish, this time free from any vacuum packing. Good rice today (as always)

Six

Tofu beef curry! It is amazing and of course the staple rice to make it incredibly amazing! I love it, although full fat milk and curry doesn't really work for me... but the rice was good.

Seven

IT'S BACK! Yes that's right. a load more dinners for your delectation.

This one is hard to pin down. A stew like, sloppy pasta based milky substance, with bread. There, that'll do...

Eight

Tomato, potato stew. Really damn good. Makes your tongue feel all cuddly. Eat it!

Nine

YES! BBQ fish on rice. Makes the world go OOOOOOOMPH! The soup of seaweed and ricey ball thing is hot too. Juicy!

Ten

Sorry, but this is fucking shite. Chicken and cheese burger, ON NORMAL BREAD and a huge, crap, fruit salad. Who ordered this? I feel cheated.

Babel Interlude

Yes, it does look kind of like a Babel Fish but this little beauty is actually a cleverly conceived soy sauce delivery system. About the size of school eraser the amount of juice contained is directly proportional to the joy you'll receive from its application. Go on. SQeeeeeeeeZE it...

Eleven

It's back! Tofubeeftastyashellcurrydish. If you didn't bring a straw, forget it. The chopstick work, but only if you live in an anti-gravity environment. Eat it with rice mixed in, sorted. Orange juice! YES NO GOD DAMN AWFUL MILK FOR ME TODAY

Twelve

Potato beef stuff. Its tasty. The carrots have the consistency of fresh baby poo though, which is a shame (carrots should crunch)

Thirteen

Rice! YES! Stew, pointless. Move on.

Fourteen

Another tofu delight, this time all soaking in animal remains. Real fresh like. The rice is good too. Fuck the obligatory crunch vegetable dish, by the time you eat the main course you won't give a shit about it

Fifteen

Tiny frankfurters? Potato? Cabbage? All in a stew together? What? Good though. Needs something else. I hate Omelette.

Sixteen

Yeah, stewy, tomatoy, Potatoy, Eat it up and go back for some more baby.

Seventeen

Fish on rice is tempting, but try the stewfirst. Don't eat that seaweed based crunch appetiser! It'll turn your nipple green

Eighteen

Pasta tomato goodness. It ain't all stews you know, this could almost be labelled a sauce. Good patty thing too

Nineteen

Right on. The soya beans are out, and they haven't been treated in a weird way! This, plus the beefy bits, is the way edet mame should be