"To operate the assembly, the operator places the inlet tube with its valve open adjacent his anal region from which a colonic gas is discharged. The piston is then withdrawn to a degree producing a negative pressure to inhale the gas into the combustion chamber to intermix with the air therein to create a combustible mixture. The ignitor is then activated to explode the mixture in the chamber and fire the missile into space." - Link

Categories: Technology, Science?, Future?, Patents, Humour, WTF?, Weird

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"We present a class of curved-spacetime vacuum solutions which develop closed timelike curves at some particular moment. We then use these vacuum solutions to construct a time-machine model. The causality violation occurs inside an empty torus, which constitutes the time-machine core. The matter field surrounding this empty torus satisfies the weak, dominant, and strong energy conditions. The model is regular, asymptotically flat, and topologically trivial. Stability remains the main open question." - link

"The name Dwarf, used mainly in regions surrounding large deposits of gold or huge fire-pulsating dragons, is street-slang for Gynaecologist. A Dwarf at the height of their career can earn anything up to 1 million gold pieces per expedition. The process of studying the vagina, long thought to be a sure way to make yourself go blind, often involves deep undercover work in hard to reach and extremely inhospitable regions. Dwarfs excel at their work."

"Miners can be separated into three widely known types. These are:

Welshmen: the most common breed of miner

Dwarfs: the heartiest and cutest of the breeds and

The Village People: known for their fine Disco ensembles and homosexual exploits, but generally accepted as the superior breed of miners. It was through their grit and determination that coal was brought 100% out of the ground and it was from their rousing lyrics and strong sexual awareness that progress was finally squeezed from the abscesses of history it had long resided in."

"Satoshi Tomoda, president of the beverage maker, said: "Children copy and mimic adults.

"If you get this drink ready on such occasions as events and celebrations attended by kids, it would make the occasions even more entertaining."

The Kidsbeer label captures a nostalgic mood as it was modeled after classic beer labels.

"Even kids cannot stand life unless they have a drink," reads the product's advertising slogan." - link

"Even the most ignorant cannot know less than nothing. After all, negative knowledge makes no sense. But, although this may be true in the everyday world we are accustomed to, it has been discovered that negative knowledge does exist in the quantum world. Small objects such as atoms, molecules and electrons behave radically different than larger objects -- they obey the laws of quantum mechanics....

...What could negative knowledge possibly mean? "If I tell it to you, you will know less," explained Dr Andreas Winter." - Link

"1. Persephone (Greek) or Proserpina (Roman)

Many considered this the obvious favourite for naming the new planet, since Roman mythology has it that Pluto (or Hades, in Greek mythology) kidnapped Persephone, and made her his wife. So distraught was Persephone’s mother that her grief created winter. Very apt, since planets do not, as yet, get any colder than our most distant new addition. The only, but significant, problem with this name is that is already taken. As Brown himself points out: “Sadly, the name was used in 1895 as a name for the 399th known asteroid." - New Scientist Link

"The planet was named Persephone, but rapidly nicknamed Rupert after some astronomer's parrot - there was some tediously heart-warming story attached to this - and that was all very wonderful and lovely." - from Mostly Harmless by Douglas Adams